shadesofobsidian: (Girl Gun)
2012-08-07 02:19 am
Entry tags:

Liminal

 

It's been a while.

Whole worlds spun in a matter of moments.

In that transiting state,

Drifting between lucidity and hallucinations.

Stories begin, play out,

And end.


Helpless, yet totally in control,

I wander in my own mind.

Without direction, yet so sure of where I am.

In this familiarly strange world,

I am rushed along slime-mold roads.

Looping over and again,

Until the intricately linked paths led me to a meeting

I had only just remembered.  
 

I don't want to be here.
 
 
But the chains.

They were always there

Suffocating,

Increasing in number

Twisting around and over each other

The chains of human connection.


I don't want to be here.


Someone approaches.

Eyes turn away, and in turn a voice raised.

A presence demanding to be acknowledged

Too close for comfort.


If only I could.

But my hand was so heavy.

Rooted to the spot, all I could do was speak.

Slowly, with gaining momentum,

Glee-suffused poison was spat.

A whole barrage, seemingly endless.

All that I would have added, if given a second chance.

This chain I had broken easily

I would do it again, and gladly.


But alas, vindication was cut short.

Reality had called.


So fare thee well,

May I never have to set my gaze upon your countenance ever again.

 


shadesofobsidian: (pic#803450)
2011-12-08 04:03 am
Entry tags:

[Crows]



The sky’s very clear today.

Flawlessly blue.

And so terribly false.

I look away.

 

Seething temper churns into something more

Wishing to strike against this illusion

To smear indelibly over its mockery

Or even better, to claw open a hole

 

Restless, unrelenting irritation rises up.

I couldn’t help thinking about it,

It ought not to matter.

It does anyway.  I glare at the sky.

 

But then

 

Before my eyes a rainbow forms.

A rainbow that was undeniably black.

Murder of darkness streaking out across the sky

Each one a droplet from a storm.

 

Mesmerized, I smiled.



PS. A feeling from a time when I feel rather rage-y at the world. (I’ve since moved on to being melancholic XD;)
PPS. I PS'd a tattoo for this header. if I wanted to get a tattoo... i think this would be it.
PPPS. 'murder of crows' would have to be one of my favourite phrases of all time =d

shadesofobsidian: (Default)
2011-04-07 02:50 am
Entry tags:

Finality, Finally?

"...For a story to end happily, it must end.
And this ending must be final.

- Ganymar (Vefurrin)



It’s been a long time coming,

I’ve seen it from a mile away.

Yet at times I wonder too ;

If this would go on forever.

Wouldn’t it be nice if it did?


It's been a great ride;

I’m sure everyone would agree

But I’m a little worried;

Maybe it should be continued instead;

Shouldn't this happiness be extended?


Then I remember —


It was meant to end.

I knew from the start;

So even though I’m grieving,

This child of mine will be laid to rest.

Who cares if it’s a dead end?


This is my happy ending.



PS. I've never completed a long fic before. I'd like to try sometime.
PPS. Click on the pic to see where I got it from (flickr)
PPPS. yes it's been a long time since I fic'd something up.
I'm really rusty; it took a disproportionately long time to create this post..
I blame my happy(?kinda?) life at the moment. Constantly preoccupied with eating and being merry.
Exams in a monthish, wish me luck?
^_^

shadesofobsidian: (Default)
2010-09-21 02:13 am
Entry tags:

Regret

Sudden desire to post.
Inspired by the vocaloid song I posted previously.
In particular a set of lines that'll open my next post
(if and when I get around to posting)I think I'm a lil' weird.
I can't seem to post happy fiction. ._.


PS. artwork not by me, right-click the image and open in new tab to see the name of the artist (I filched it off dA)

How useless.

What is it that you want changed?

Spoken words, actions and inactions taken.

Why?

 

That which you lost,

Do you hope to gain it back

With this crippled helplessness?

A series of thoughts

Chasing its tail

Over and over again.

What could you ever possibly hope to achieve?

 

Stop tormenting yourself

Accept the reality you’ve given yourself.

 

Missed the bell,

The clock continues ticking.

What was it that you regret again?

I’ve forgotten already.


Won’t you do the same?

shadesofobsidian: (Default)
2010-09-12 04:12 pm
Entry tags:

Long Time No See

I just realised how darn LONG it has been since my previous art post.
*shudders*
I hath been procrastinating. D:
FML (I think)
Considering joining NTU's VAS (Visual Arts Society), since they hold lessons and workshops and all that.
Pretty cool-sounding, IMO.
Meet n Greet this Weds, we'll see how it goes.
A little twitchy, since I'm pretty nooby. ><

Anyhow, here's my most recently completed piece
It's mostly for practice, I'm not as fond of him as some of my other characters.
I like how the face turned out tho <3
-Practice inking using the pen vector tool in PS
Hence you won't be able to see anything of the original sketch in this one (not even the lines)
-Practice on shading blades
Once again done using pencil&paper for sketch, mouse in PS3 for the digital inking&colouring part

I really should get a tablet. Living in hall is expensive tho.
Might have to wait till year-end to get a job and fund my tablet aspirations.

Anyway, here it is!
Click for link to my dA ^_^

RnR welcome and wanted! As always.
shadesofobsidian: (*)
2010-09-11 12:50 am
Entry tags:

Apathy

A quick post to warm up for the (locked) other post.
Remember that this is fiction, i will be very sad if people distance themselves from me just cos i write about apathy.
(who doesn't experience apathy anyway)
Interpretation is FFA, as always. Comments, R&R, are welcomed.
(I don't wish to remain writing the same standard of drivel all my life)


Apathy

 She says she understands.
Dismissing others so carelessly seeming.
Her emotions are calm and bland.

 There is no sense of sympathy,
Or even empathy.
Such is the capacity lacking.
What is it that is flawed? Is something missing?
There are no dreams; no lingering desires remain.

 Her self, corrupted by a responsibility to her bonds.
Undergoes a lifetime of experiences
Finding at the end of its journey
Salvation in logical understanding possessed all along

 Acceptance, reconciliation;
 Guilt laid finally to rest
She does not care.

shadesofobsidian: (Default)
2010-08-29 10:28 am
Entry tags:

(no subject)

lol. A small non-emo piece. ^_^
Written while listening to NTU Hall4's lipdub. (Auqa - Cartoon Heroes)
I really <3 bridge  So play bridge must jio =D
LF uni bridge kakis. Hopefully staying in Hall (4) then can play until damn late LOL







False impressions and outright lies.

Sly glances hidden behind a suspicious smile.

Dare I trust him?

I throw out another feint,

Feigning knowledge, buying time.

Amused laughter from her,

Silence of others in deep thought.

The atmosphere is so tense.

Yet light-hearted at the same time.

Have I made the right decision?

Is he deliberately letting me win?

Where is my Ace of Spades?


AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

PARTNER KIN LAH!!!

快点给我出来!!!

shadesofobsidian: (Default)
2009-07-21 06:15 pm
Entry tags:

omg. So emo. ahahaha.

Ahahaa~ It's been so long since I last posted something remotely poetic.
So here's one.
I quite like MH. She's one of my favourite fictional people.
The most fave one that I never got to use in any RP.I think Imma let it remain that way ^^
And here's something that I think MH would look like. Very red, she is.
But with more black. I've drawn her before, but she's not a charrie who looks nice without inking. >_<


Oh, those tiles,
Dark lines of dirt ingrained between,
Making the white even more blindingly so.
It hurts her eyes,
Even more than the image in the mirror.
Looking back at her with this expression,
That she can't make it out.

She covers the image with darkness,
Immersing herself  in her semi-static surroundings instead.
The sound of running water, flowing without cease.
Pooling around her hand, disappearing into more darkness.

Darkness.
She's surrounded in it,
Pouring out of her lungs, seeping from her skin.
The slime suffocates her, 
Choking her breaths,
Making her heady with an unacknowledged emotion.

Her thoughts aren't quite getting through the haze of emotions.
Falling, spiraling.
Slipping away into the darkness.
Losing her identity...Who am I?

—She resurfaces.
Eyes scalded once more by her reflection in the water.
All at once, the image brings it all back.
The return to reality.

This feeling of lightness disappears;
She wishes it would stay instead.
The weight of life is so heavy.
It's as if her body's being crushed.
Outside forces pushing ever harder on an already-empty husk.

She doesn't fall to pieces, however. Instead, she chooses to smile. Crying and wailing won't do anything but win her some pity. She doesn't want pity. The Mad Hatter isn't something to be pitied. So she laughs. Full of glee and joy and ecstasy are those noises coming from her mouth. The Mad Hatter doesn't know any other emotion than joy. And what a cold joy it can be sometimes; sharpening her laugh, widening her smile, devouring her soul.

"Ahahahaa~ Fools, all!"
shadesofobsidian: (Thoughts)
2009-04-30 09:54 pm
Entry tags:

Cognitive Dissonance.

First time trying to express myself (my thoughts/feelings on the things that have transpired) in an extremely ambiguous way. lol
In case some of you haven't realised, I'm an extremely angst-filled teenager.
Must remind myself to be happy.
Well, I found a working version of Togainu No Chi :D
Awesome for me ^^
[Start=Angst]



Flat, quiet, motionless.
As still as death.

 Tremors ripple just below the surface, a deep underwater current.
It doesn't show, the self-control assures that.
The surface remains calm.

 Behind a facade of stillness lies turmoil.
Agitation that refuses to die down.

Agito—to move.

Refusal to remain stationary,
but be in constant motion.
 Churning urges and impulses of unknown depth,
Hidden beneath the stillness.

A false front of apathy.
I don't really care.
Really.

 Crush the chains that tie down!

Break free of the spider's web!
Tear off the cloth that blinds the eye and stifles the mouth!

 Where are your fangs that rend?
Your claws that rive?

 Have they grown dull from disuse?
Have they fractured?

FIND THEM

 Dichotomy.

The face is still.
Such cold eyes that looked back.
Hiding a blazing inferno within.

[/Angst]
shadesofobsidian: (moonlighting)
2008-10-13 10:58 pm
Entry tags:

The Mad Hatter [my tian sorry for semi-spamming]

Slowly, surely, with familiar and practiced movements, her fingers roam her face once again. This time they push gently against the skin, prodding, nudging. Her face still remains. But she feels it; the tiny fractures that lie beneath the skin, the muscles, the bones. Her fingers continue to move, lazily distractedly at times, skittering across the surface at others.

Then just as abruptly as how the panic had spilled forth from her, her movements still. But only for a while, just to find her persona and slip it on. It is her, and at times, she is it. she is the Mad Hatter, the one who borders on insanity, and crosses it.

She is the Mad Hatter more than anything else. Her laughter echoes as her screams do. She cries not, but her cheeks always bear the marks of tears. She surrounds herself with a web of lies; she herself is a lie. But since each lie has a grain of truth, and since everyone believes the lie that is her, she is true.

She is the Mad March Hare; the Mad Hatter. Her laughter is empty, and so is she.
shadesofobsidian: (moonlighting)
2008-10-13 10:28 pm
Entry tags:

More emo stuff. D: D: D: [no, it ain't a fic]

The burden shall always be carried by those left behind. Always.

To be left behind...

I do not want to be the last. I do not want to become the end. There is no more going forward. I shall forever be held in stasis; stagnating, remaining in my land of memories.

Unchanging, unmoving. Lifeless to the outside world.

Lying to myself; shielding my eyes, covering my ears. Forever shall I shut myself away from the world.

Begone, I say to reality, for harsh is your touch, and cold is your gaze. Do not come near me, for I have no love for you. I would rather dwell in my dreams, false they may be.

Every lie has a grain of truth. My castle of air is built upon a whisper of the past, a draft from my memories.

The burdened shall always be those who have been left behind.
shadesofobsidian: (moonlighting)
2008-10-13 10:10 pm
Entry tags:

[EMO FIC. D:] The Morning After.

She woke up with a jolt, cold sweat trickling down her back, it's icy touch chilling her hollow core. Coldness upon emptiness.

She touches her face gingerly,with the tips of her fingers brushing down from her forehead. Slowly, slowly, as if for fear that her face would shatter into pieces at the slightest pressure, gentle, precise movements, following her black trails from her eyes to her lips, lips lips to the edges of her face.

Eyes staring ahead blankly, without movement, without life. Soft shallow breaths flowing past thin lips, each carrying an silent burden.

Her fingers lingering, as if reluctant to leave the pale marble-like surface of her face. With great resolve coming from the depths within, a wrenching of appendages from a mask-like countenance.

Screaming echo throughout the room. resounding and unending. The end of each a beginning for another.

The morning forever after.

The closeness of yesterday, the distance of tomorrow.
shadesofobsidian: (Default)
2007-09-17 04:43 pm
Entry tags:

A super short one-short

I very sad... nobody comments on my last fic ('cept for nic. so smsed me)
Never mind, will plough on; even though I know I'm polluting you friends page with my nonsense.... >.<

Dreams

Kain opened his eyes groggily to stare at—an unadorned, boring, grey ceiling. He turned to check his bedside clock, it was a non-working day and he had woken up at 7am. Kain imagined himself to be suffering from insomnia, until, glancing at the calendar, he remembered that today was an important day; he was going to see his twin brother, whom he had not seen in a year.

                Kain missed his twin. Keslian was a loud person, and warmed up to everyone quickly. Kain was his polar opposite; he had always been to his classmates when they were studying. Kain missed his twin so very much; the house seemed so empty without his laughter.

                It had been four years since Keslian left to a faraway place. Though he assured him many a times, using that half-joking tone of his, that twins could never truly be apart, Kain still felt his twin was out of reach. Not that Kain tried to contact him; he did not want to disturb his twin. This made this day all the more important, so Kain was even more meticulous in his appearance today; it would not do to let his twin see a disheveled Kain.

                Kain stared unto the mirrior, it was so much like looking at Keslian, yet at the same time, completely different, Keslian’s normally wild hair was neatly contained in a ponytail, shades covering his green eyes. Kain straightened his tie and put on his coat.

                When all was in order, Kain strode out of the house, steps brisk and firm, to saddle his horse. It was a frisky chestnut mare, but strangely enough, the mare, perhaps sensing its owner’s mood, was exceptionally docile today.

                Kain was lost in his thoughts, mid awhirl with things to tell his twin. He was sure he’d made an aloof figure sitting astride on his horse, which was the impression he often made on people. Excluding Keslian, no one understood him.

                As he near their meeting place, there were fewer people, the area a picture of tranquility, rustling leaves imitating the gentle crash of waves on an empty beach, the dappled sunlight mild and soothing.

                But at the actual meeting place, it was a lot more crowded, there were people everywhere; Kain tuned out the disturbances and searched for Keslian.

                Then Kain caught sight of him, and broke into a smile, his pace quickened. Standing in front of his twin, Kain murmured a short greeting before bending down and kissing him, his fingers caressing Keslian’s face, the marble cool beneath his fingers.

 

Fluff -intolerant? stop reading here and just post a comment... Pls?? )
shadesofobsidian: (Default)
2007-09-04 02:32 pm
Entry tags:

Violence

Violence
My first original fiction not written under duress via exams~ its 1500+ words... a one-shot
Warnings: It's un-beta'd so... forgive me if there's errors

She paced back and forth, scanning the area intently, searching for her target. Her eyes scrutinising the clueless crowd, all unsuspecting of the tragedy (to them at least) that was about to strike.

Stefan pressed himself low against the roof, making himself as inconspicuous as possible. His team leader’s voice flowed through his mind, “This is an important phase; be patient…” She had emphasized to him time and time again that his job was to pick off people, to hide the true purpose of the mission. “...For Pete’s sake, don’t pretend to be a hero like last time, you nearly screwed up the mission... Leave the boss to me...”

As Schieter entered the church, Lebial, leader of the group, admired its beautiful architecture and its subtle elegance. How odd it was for someone like him, with hands dyed incarnadine by deaths, to enter a church— not any of these good believers would ever have an inkling of the deeds Schieter had committed. It was a good place to rest or hide as any, so why not stop here for a while?

 

lj cut so as to not flood ur friends page... )